Fishy Puns

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. Then one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Puns (11)

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

Can You Stand the Pun (10)?

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Can You Stand the Pun (9)?

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Can You Stand the Pun (8)?

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

Can You Stand the Pun (7)?

"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, It's Not Unusual."

Can You Stand the Pun (6)?

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Can You... Pun (3-5)?

Here's three bar puns for ya tonight.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.


A dyslexic man walked into a bra.


A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Can You Stand the Pun (2)?

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".

Can You Stand the Pun (1)?

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.