Can You Stand the Pun (9)?

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Can You Stand the Pun (8)?

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

Bananas

Nirvana

It felt good strapping on my motorcycle boots this morning, followed by the ritual of donning my riding pants, jackets and gloves. I had to carefully pull the glove over my recovering hand. Straddled my bike, backed it out of the garage and fired it up... pulling in the clutch lever was an effort, but I managed to endure the discomfort from the stiffness that remains from those 6 to 7 weeks of immobility.

Today was just a trial run, staying close to home to see where my pain threshold lies. Besides, this nasty wind is the shits. Once I got past the pain (ignoring it best I can), it was sheer nirvana. There is a oneness between my motorcycle and me that provides all the therapy that I could ask for. I can't wait to get some time out on the open road!

I ride 12 months out of the year and will have to dismiss February 2009 as the lost month. Up until the mishap I was on a pretty good roll racking up the miles on my R1200GS, purchased in early November last fall. I covered over 3,600 miles in the three months that followed.

The windchimes are sounding a busy ruckus, but I can still hear the whispers cajoling me for another spin in these extended daylit hours. I'll bite.

Can You Stand the Pun (7)?

"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, It's Not Unusual."

Can You Stand the Pun (6)?

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Can You... Pun (3-5)?

Here's three bar puns for ya tonight.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.


A dyslexic man walked into a bra.


A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Can You Stand the Pun (2)?

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".

Can You Stand the Pun (1)?

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Vernal Equinox 2009

Today is the first day of Spring!
(high of 77 degrees here)

AIG and Obama

Our President is outraged about the bonuses that AIG is doling out to top executives, made possible by taxpayer money from a government bailout. Who knew something like this would happen?

Lots of people, but evidently Mr. Obama was not one of them.

If the voices of doubting Thomases, pessimists, cynics and naysayers have previously fallen on deaf ears, they are now vindicated. We told you so.

Saint Pat's

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Happy Pi Day (3.14) 2009!

Yes, it is Pi Day again, 2009.

Perhaps some local Marie Callender's or Bakers Square might be promoting and serving up some homonymous dessert? Hmm, banana cream or dutch apple à la mode is sounding pretty good right about now, yum.

If memory serves me, it's 3.14159265358979... but I forget the rest. Like it's really relevant to anything I plan on doing anytime soon. Just cut me a slice!

Friday the 13th

Happy Friday the 13th... for the 2nd time in two months! And on both occasions I took the day off to run small errands and just kick back. Brace yourself for Pi Day tomorrow.

Breaking In

On the local news this evening was a report about burglars breaking in to cars stealing whatever valuables they can find. The cause for alarm, as if this weren't violation enough?

The theft of garage door openers, and forms of ID that provide info about the victims, namely their place of residence. It sets the stage for home burglary to further add to the perps' ill-gotten booty. The news station advises caution about leaving these things in your car or to keep them and other valuables well hidden to deter prospective thieves.

And if the car's already toast and they've moved on to your castle, drop 'em in their tracks if they dare; dead crooks oughtta make good deterrents. If that's a bit too extreme, then do what you can to get 'em to shit in their pants before turning 'em over to the cops.

Just a Rodeo

Sometimes I think, life is just a rodeo.
The trick is to ride and make it to the bell.

Rock And Roll Girls - John Fogerty